I found the scenes between Troi & Riker in the holding cell some of the most profound, heart wrenching and beautifully broken moments these two have EVER had. Deanna's responce to her grief after losing her son is a stark contrast to her mother's as we saw in TNGs Dark Page.
Lwaxana buried and erased all remembrance of her daughter Kestra until she couldn't handle it any longer.
Her grief was old but when it came bubbling up it nearly destroyed her and it would have if she hadn't finally shared the heartbreak.
When Picard goes to Nepenthe in s1, Deanna tells him "We're fine" in regards to dealing with Thad's passing. We now know that isn't the whole truth.
Deanna was baring the pain and grief of everyone else and not just her own.
I can only imagine how she felt, I mean she knew that child in ways human mothers don't know their babies. She not only felt him growing in her womb, so physically, but I would imagine she could sence him in her mind as well and in her soul as she feels Will and Kestra.
So when Thad passed, Deanna felt it in ways that no-one else could have. No longer is his unique presence in her mind, that part of her soul that has been wrapped around his in a protective comfort desolves as his life ebbs from him, never again will she be able to hold her child in her arms...
Not only does she have her own soul crushing grief to navigate through but she also feels every ounce of her Imzadi's grief as well as that of their remaining child. It's shocking that she didn't go bat crap crazy, but she loved her husband so much and wanted for him to not suffer....
So she took his grief as well as her own in an effort to save him from what he was going through.
Now we learn that this was not the correct course, which she admits.
What she says next in the scene makes my heart break for her all over again each time I hear it...
"You can't skip to the end of healing"
These sage words are something many of us, I'm sure, never even thought about yet needed. She taught us that lesson as she was learning it herself. We might not be able to skip to the end of healing but please know, if you've read to this point, you are NOT alone. Others can't grieve FOR us but we CAN be here for one another.
I agree.That's why I feel that the scene when Troi enters Thad's room is out of the ordinary.We don't need words to feel the pain of a mother, the filth of memories.